Archive for the ‘I May Be Crazy, Eclectic and Eccentric’ Category

A Little About Me…Who is Lady Cate

March 29, 2011

Born November 12, 1963, about 3 pm in the afternoon at Grant Hospital in downtown Columbus, Ohio, to Clara, and Ronald.

A very precocious, stubborn, bold, self willed child.  No trouble, as an infant, just like to eat as I do now.  When I learned to talk, I was a child of many questions, so much so, people would go the other way when they saw me coming.  I was an intelligent child, talking clearly at age 2, potty trained and attending Rickman’s Nursery School on Woodlawn Avenue.

I started reading at age 4.  Since have always had my head in a book.  I have more books then clothes.  Used to hide away just so I could read.  Would get trouble for reading and not getting chores done.  I did not care if you took away my TV, Radio, or stereo, back then punishment was taking away my books.  I had a very decent IQ at an early age.

I have always been interested in Religion and Spiritual things.  Was always at church.  I did not want to be around children my age, but would promise to sit quietly while the Ministers had their meetings.  Since my parents were Ministers, I was able to attend.  Through my maternal grandparents, I learned the ways of the Hills,  Appalachian Folkways or medicine.  This of which came down from the Native Americans, Irish Celts, Mongolians and Africans in my ancestry line.  They told me that I was given gifts by the Creator, and should always use them for the good of others.  If I used them wrong or badly, a curse would be upon me.  So I learned while they were alive.  Some things I could not share with “Church” people.  They believed, these things were of the devil, when they were really of God.  God gives all good and perfect gifts.

 

As I grew up, my family tried to mold me and sometimes beat me into what they thought I should be.  A Good God fearing Christian, Educated, and Republican.  I remember turning 18, getting ready to vote my 1st election, my grandfather Wilbur G. Mac came to me and said, “Our family is Republican, we have voted Republican since we have been in this country.”  Only thing I could say was OK…I did vote for Ronald Regan.  I did love this President.

 

My parents wanted me to be a medical doctor, but my math and science grades never produced A’s or B’s, but C’s, so they decided it would be good if I became a Counselor/Minister or teacher like themselves.  If nothing else, I could do Social work.

I went to college, Bowling Green State, then OSU and Columbus State where I studied Psychology, Business, and Music,   I attend World Harvest Bible School, now Valor Christian College studying Pastorial Counseling, I took classes at the Lutheran Theological Seminary, doing an internship in Newark, Ohio, at a small church as their youth Pastor along with a young man I was seeing at the time.  I attended Hebrew School at Temple Beth Shalom in Columbus, then Messianic studies at Temple Beth Messiah, and later got a certificate in Rabbinical Studies from The Jewish Theological Seminary in New York in ’08.  My 1st real Ministry jobs were volunteering and working on staff at World Harvest Church through ’91, and with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship off and on from ’83 to ’01.  There is so much more to the present day.  I can’t share it all on here, but I am working on my autobiography.

 

In my family trying to mold me into what they thought I should be, gave me many heart aches, and problems.  I was depressed a lot of the time.  I knew I wasn’t what they wanted.  I was always the “Black Sheep.” and felt I could do nothing right… During my late 20’s, early 30’s I went through a very dark period, to where I was on 8 prescribed medications a day.  I also got into a work accident, to where my back got fractured in 3 places, and became paralyzed from the waist down in ’92.  I was so miserable, I ate myself to over 400 pounds.  I could not move or hardly do anything for myself.  Through all this I tried to keep going knowing God would deliver me from it all, I had my Faith…I tried not to dwell on me so much as trying to help others.  I got my legs back by ’96 after lots of physical therapy, and found a way to get over 150 pounds off also, I got down to about 250.  I then worked for Chase, also worked at Lifetime Fitness Center for the free membership, until I found I had Leukemia in ’98.  With this I became weak, and had to stop working, going on disability from work then later SSD.  With the chemotherapy and steroids, I went back up to over 300 pounds.  I asked God why could I not get a cancer that took weight off not put it on…he was having fun with me.  I survived and endured with the help of my Faith, friend Mary Jenkins,  her 3 sons, and my Pastor Dr. David C. Forbes, who offered me his bone marrow if needed, until God gave me a miracle.  Only very few knew what I was going through, my family didn’t  even know.  I wanted Faith, not Fear guiding me.  I wanted strong people standing in agreement for my healing, not sympathy or even empathy.  Then after passing out at EILMs one Sunday, I died, and was pronounced dead for 5 minutes… My experience is that I went to the light, I went to a place where a Being (angel, spirit, person) told me to wait in a bright white room with lovely music, after what seemed like 30 minutes, it came back and told me that  I was not staying.  We then walked back to a tunnel, and I saw myself float down back into my body in the ER of OSU Hospital East.  There beside the bed was my dad Ronald, Mary Jenkins, and David Chase, associate pastor of CCC at the time.  Soon after I knew I was to leave Columbus, Ohio and go to NYC.  When I wad healed and the cancer went into remission in ’01 I was asked to wait a year, before leaving.  At the end of ’02  I packed up what I could and moved to Brooklyn, New York where I lived until November of 2008.

 

New York is where I finally shed off everything that was someone else ideal of me or mold.  I became the authentic ME, the creator wanted me to be.  One of the 1st things is that I was going on age 38 and was still a virgin.  I always wanted to wait for “Mr. Right, or who God sent as my husband,” but that did not seem to be happening, so I indulged with a guy I was seeing.  Not very good the 1st time, nor with that person on later tries, but later found sex was a good thing.  I decided to only indulge with someone I was in a set relationship with.  So I was not just out there.  I do have my morals, values, and religious teachings to think of.  I did not feel that I was in sin, that is being a stumbling block to others or another person.  Everyone sins, judging, gossip, thinking ill of another, is also sin and I knew fellow Christians who did that daily from my church on a regular basis.  I knew to God, sin is sin, no big or little, if something is done maliciously, with evil intent, it is sin, and karma is the reward.  We reap what we sow.  Me having sex with someone I cared about was not sin, at least to me.  I have never felt guilt, from God in my spirit, just other humans, and their wicked, twisted thoughts and ways.  One thing I am sad about, I got pregnant and lost the baby at the end of the 1st trimester.  He would have been 7 years old in April.  The guy i was seeing took it worse at the time then I did.

 

I was ME, in NYC, from that point on, living there I learned so much about others and myself.  I learned to Authentically love and accept others of every race, origin, orientation, and set, as Jesus loved, as God meant for us to love.  I taught on the streets, parks, and subway as Jesus did.  I did not hang in the “church,”  all the time as I did before.  I LIVED, I was out and about when not working a regular job.  Living life as I never did before, loving me and others.  Seeing sights, and just enjoying myself, whither I had money or not.  When I did not have money, God provided.  I would go someplace and someone picked up my check, or bought my drinks for me.  I got invited to parties, celebrity events, even out to the Hampton s for a weekend at a lavish home.  Things I would never thought of or done if I stayed in Columbus, Ohio.  I got to be on staff at 2 different ministries.  One, I saw start with one meeting at the Manhattan Center, to now being one of the biggest nondenominational ministries in New York, called The Journey.  The Divine used me to help grow it.  I gave them what I knew from Columbus, working with WHC and EILMs, then when I came back to Columbus, I gave EILMs, back what I learned at The Journey. Now, EILMs is using some to their Ministry methods now.

 

In 2002 I decided I was never going to let anyone or anything other then God dictate how I was to act, or who I was to be. I did not care anymore what people thought or said about me.  I was from that point on delivered from people and a big weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I only had to please God.  I only had to answer to God, and if someone did not like it, then they could just go to God with their problem.  I would ask them to please pray for me if they thought I had a problem, sometimes I was bold enough to tell others, that I would pray that God would help them with their problem with me.  I was respectful to those over me, teaching me, of whom had authority over me, like Pastors, Counselors, and Teachers in the Faith and at work. When I got delivered from people, God saw that my Ministry grew, the Divine opened so many doors for me in NYC I thought could never be opened, I went places and associated with people I thought never possible.  I had adventures, I would have never had if I stayed in Columbus.  My time in NYC was awesome, and I praise God for every year, month, week, day, hour, minute and second I spent there.  It was not an easy tenure, but I was worth it.

 

In late ’08 I moved back to Columbus, Ohio, because I need to get my legs operated on.

The person I am today, what you see is what you get.  Sassy, bold, assertive, loving, kind, friendly, not pious, not stuck up, or prudish, (and hate to say), sometimes lusty and busty, ha, ha :).  I am CATIE, I am who God made, meant for me to be.  If someone does not like it, they have to take it up with the Divine, Great Spirit,Almighty God, Creator of the Universe.  He/She made me.  I was skillfully and wonderfully made.  I have continued my Path, Purpose, as the Divine sees fit.  Yes, I am a Minister, not your conventional, pious, stuck up, suit wearing, finger pointing, judgment giving minister.  I will speak the truth in love, Always.  I will pray for you, send healing your way, do and use all the gifts given to me by the Great Spirit.  I will help lead you on the right path, and into salvation if wanted or needed.  I also will sup with you, have a drink with you, love and care for you as a brother, sister, friend and fellow minister in Christ or because you are a fellow human being.

Not all know how to take this ME, but its not for you to question or know, but to accept unconditionally as the Creator accepts you the same way.  Love and Forgive.  This is Lady Cate…Love, hate or be indifferent.  The choice is always yours…

I hope you chose Love.

 

Peace and Blessing to All from above…Nameste and Shalom.

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The Cost of a Relationship (especially a longdistance one)

February 12, 2011

Last April I started seeing a guy that lives up near Cleveland, Ohio.  I have grown to care for this man very much.  He has many good qualities, among them is that he is loving, caring, kind, and not a bad lover.  He is tall, thin, strong, decent body, and he has a good wit and sense of humor.  This guy comes from a nice family, of which I have met 3 out of 6 siblings, and he himself has 2 children which are adults.  I can tell this man is well read, intelligent, and has a vast life’s experience.  Much has not gone his way, and in so he has many negative issues he is trying to workout.

I went into this friendship with my eyes wide open.  Knowing the situation.  This guy has not worked in over 2 years.  His excuse is that he is recovering from alcoholism and physical injury to his back.  I can see this is true.  I myself and his family have been encouraging him to try to move forward.  He lives with one of his brothers family, in their basement, but he wants him to move and get on his own asap.  He has been living with his brother for over 18 months, with the only income being $200 in food benefits a month.  Before this, he lived with a sister and her husband.  They encouraged him as best they could, but saw him getting too comfortable, so that’s when he moved in with another family member.  When we met, he wanted to move down to Columbus and in with me, but at the time I was living in a studio apartment.  There was no way.

As I got to know this man better, I learned the whys and where fores of his situation, and how he got to where he is.  It is because of bad choices in his life.  Every time he got to a place where he was doing fine, and having a normal life, some how he sabotaged it.  This is a pattern I have seen with many over and over in this life.  So being a good friend, I thought to try to stick with him.  I am not in the best of financial situations myself.  At the time of our meeting, I was on unemployment, food assistance, and the state was picking up my health insurance premium.  Since I started working part time in September, the state no longer picks up my premium, and I no longer get food assistance.  A reduction $320 in my monthly income.  I make $640/month at my part time job.  So I am only ahead by $320/by working.

I have been picking up the tab for our relationship.  I had been traveling to the Cleveland area at least once a month.  I rented cars, gas, gotten hotel rooms, and  I also have been paying for our food.  This cost me so far $800 total.  I have been the Man in this relationship.  I was always taught that a man takes care of the tab, but since my friend is not working, has not had a real steady job in over 2 years, then I was trying to be the good person.  I am finding it too hard for me to do.  My last trip was New Years weekend.  I made a vow to myself that I can’t do it anymore.  He will have to try to find a way to come down and see me, or pay for the visits himself.  As much as I care for him, like him, I can’t keep paying the tab.  It is not my place to do so anyway. My income is only about $1200.  I have rent, utilities, phone, health insurance, food, gas, and insurance for my car, and a couple credit cards to pay on.  I am barely taking care of myself, let alone trying to take care of another person.

This nice guy, is waiting on SSD to go through.  He is also getting ready to start a program through BVR which will help him get at least a part time job.  Things are moving forward for him.  I am praying positive things for his life.  I do care for him deeply.  I want the best for him.  When I did move to a one bedroom apartment, he hinted again about moving in with me.  His brother does want him out of his house so they can have their space back.  I don’t blame his brother, but I can’t have him come live with me until he has an income, at least the SSD.  Plus, I am not comfortable with a man I am not married to, or deeply in love with, living with me.  Just not a good idea.

I do want to continue seeing this guy, I want to continue being friends.  I really care for him a lot.  There is potential there for him to have a great life, if he wants it and puts the work into it.  I don’t see us getting married until he at least has some financial security, and gets his full healing of all that plagues him in his soul (mind, will, and emotions) and body.  This can happen if he turns everything in his life completely over to God and stop making excuses.  As I said in the beginning, he has great qualities.  He is a good person.  I just can’t keep footing the bill, not just the financial bill, but giving all the emotional and spiritual support also.  I need this from someone that is going to be my significant other, my spouse.  I need a person who is secure in not only finances, but spirit, soul and body.  I need my significant other, spouse, husband and lover to be “The Man.”  I just can’t do it all myself.